The boot of self-esteem is wedged in the small of my back.

I'm surrounded by normal people and all their normal routines that penetrate every facet of their goddamn lives and it's frightening, it's fucking unnerving, I don't wanna deal with the normal anymore. I don't wanna be here, paradise is calling my name it's way out west where the trees are real and the mountains are tall and weird is just the way things are. I wanna be back with the magick users and the nature freaks and the real potheads not these goddamn strung out psychos who are smoking as much as physically possible just to chase away the hideous demons that perch on their shoulders like it's a second fucking home... this is a savage place with the right kind of eyes, an ugly hole where god's hand is shoved either down your throat or up your ass and all you can do is smoke fuck drink destroy everything that composes you everything that makes sense nothing really adds up here it's all equations without proper closure all pieces that don't connect at all.
the real question here is how desparate are you to escape this place? what would you be willing to do in order to be quit of this miserable province and everything it stands for? Truthfully I would leave behind everything and everyone in order to see the road ahead get even a little bit shorter. I've built up this journey in my head into this huge beast that's going to gently lead me into some shangri - la devoid of anything resembling a problem. Yeah man, just get to kelowna and you'll get a job a girlfriend all that good shit that makes life so much more complex. It's ridiculous. True change, the kind of life-affirming thing by which so many self-help psychos swear, it starts from within. You wanna better job? Start looking for the fucking thing. A girlfriend? Start giving a shit about anyone else but you and we'll talk. Become the person that you dream of being instead of just dreaming it. Get your god damned head out of those fluffy white clouds and accept that this life and this world in which you live will be moved, much like the mountain, of your own volition only.