choking on strings(a)

she told me to write about what I felt, to just get it all out, ya know? I think that maybe this could be a rather difficult task, maybe I'll just get all goddamn hesitately, or pull some bullshit where I don't talk about them at all, but maybe that's just how I feel right now, like nothing I do is right or the best path for me at all, but that's just me second guessing myself at a rapid ridiculous pace I can't shut this shit off, I need to readdapt in order to regain my focus, there's a huge rush of strength, of mental power raw form that I need to focus and hone, this gift this wicked boost must be controlled lest I go crazysauce and we really really don't wanna fuggin deal with that, no I think that'd be an awful thing to have to reconcile or come to terms with I guess is the idea,
do you believe in fire and it's gifts in the idea that manifestation of a particular element within oneself is important in establishing control that this energy you are experiencing is something you need to focus and hone but on what well what do you want I want...
I want the noise that fills my head silenced I want all that useless dredgy bullshit that does no one any good to be gone.
I want it and I always get what I want.
crystal shines within sunken hollows
every fibre every filament is lit
roots snake down to unknown depths
the fire is deep
the fire is white
the light and the heat
my body ignites
patchwork assemblage of written body of ideas expressions put it from pieces to the whole a string of concepts bound by a singular theme.

Someday all of this will be wreckage, with no one to sift through it but the madmen, the crooks, the social cockroaches, the edges of our polite society. My words will provide cold comfort to the generations beyond this desperately seeking refuge in the ideas of their own, poring through relics and ancient tomes in an effort t oreconcile the chaos that envelops their world.