What little capacity I still retain for honest emotional expression is in danger of slipping away. I've been doing what I do best. Carefully burying all that I've uncovered, blocking and burdening any progress I've been able to make. In the wake of a negative experience, one with long-term repercussions on my psyche, I simply force myself into a state of blunt contentedness. I run, I hide, I distance myself from the problem and the area of my mind that allowed the problem to occur in the first place.
I guess the point is that I feel really grey and gross right now. I think I'm just at a place that craves human interaction on even a really basic, fundamental level.