teeny tiny moment of clarity

I promised myself (well I didn't really, but it's a nice thought) that I would never go so far as to permanently damage any of my closest companions, no matter how they begged. In reality, I simply haven't the heart to do something so horrible that I can't take it back. Not to say I haven't the heart to do something horrible.
Quite the opposite, you see.
Although the idea of "horrible" is guaranteed to shift in a very drastic fashion from perspective to perspective. Really, what you may call a genuinely despicable act, I might simply deem an act of love, something done to fullfill secretive desires that might otherwise go unrealized. I am a man willing go to great lengths for a good friend, to perform what you may call evil deeds, all in the name of love and trust and mutual understanding.
Although it wouldn't be unreasonable to call me a touch unbalanced for going to these great lengths in the first place. Let's face it, if we were all allowed to act as we truly pleased, this whole bit about what is and isn't acceptable would be a moot point in itself. Most people are simply unwilling to cross that line between desire and destination, to make manifest some of our most potent pleasures, the ones that wake you up in the middle of the night and leave you wondering whether or not you're even completely human for wanting what it is that you do.

Although this could all be irrelevant. Maybe I'm just a sick motherfucker, and maybe whatever I say is simply me attempting to justify my hideously warped ideals. That will be for the final judge, for my maker and master, to decide.